Welcome to Albuquerque,
Where everybody’s lonely!
Where everybody needs to feel you out before it’s homely,
“but nobody’s willing to put forth the effort to get to know me!”
I’m learning to allow things to just happen slowly,
but I just want somebody here to hold me.
“All your words run together.”
But you know how we get in the winter -
once all of the leaves start falling, falling off of all of the trees.
(I swear you can see their colors changing in me…)
We strip bare like them, there, and if anybody cared they could see
we’re all stripped cold down to our souls, we’re vulnerable and lonely.
Friday Nov 11 03:49amLive, live, live because you
Love, love, love and love will make you
Give, give, give and give in when you
Break, break, break but you just want to
Fix yourself just to break again…
Friday Nov 11 03:49amCertified Procrastinator. Certified Creeper. Certified Sleeper.
Know any careers that would suit me?I want to learn so much. But not in this way. Not in the way that teachers cuss out students, yelling “I HATE MEAN!”. Talk about not practicing what you preach. I don’t enjoy the piling on of homework while I don’t learn anything from it, except for learning more and more that I’m bad with busy work. Why do people think punishing makes people behave better? Is that really sufficient?
My love for people scares me a little. I love the thrill of making new friends. I go over conversations I had with new people in my life over and over and over. I want to be there for people. Unfortunately, with attachment comes breakage. Why is it that I move on so quickly with every relationship in my life? Commitment commitment commitment. What does that mean?
I need to check my priorities. I need an attitude adjustment. I need to reevaluate what’s good.
I need Jesus.
I’m not meeting any expectations. I’ve learned not to be stressed, but sometimes that’s a horrible thing. I used to work well under pressure. Nature or Nurture? I’m too young for this. I need a change. I need a break.
I love writing things out.
Congratulations. It’s official. You bring out the worst in me. Yes, YOU. I’ve known you for far too long, and your negative energy keeps making me sick. I don’t want to be mean, but I have no patience left; you took it all.
And you… I’ve never wanted to punch someone in the face as much as I do right now. Too bad you’re not here yet.
Of course, I would never tell either of you these things because they’ll hurt your feelings.
I can’t be the cause for hurt feelings when I’m supposed to be the carrier…
Wednesday Nov 9 05:12pm
Monday Nov 7 01:59pmI have no motivation what so ever
Everything has fallen to pieces.
Earth is dying, help me Jesus.
We need guidance, we’ve been misled;
young and hostile, but not stupid.
Corporate leaders, politicians,
kids can’t vote, adults elect them.
Laws that rule the school and workplace,
signs that caution, sixteen’s unsafe.
Let this train-wreck burn more slowly;
Kids are victims in this story.
Drown our youth with usless warnings,
teenage rules: they’re fk’d and boring
Everything has fallen to pieces.
We really need to see this through.
We never wanted to be abused.
We’ll never give up, it’s no use.
If we’re fk’d up, you’re to blame…
I wish you were here.
I wish I could laugh with you again.
I wish I could hear your voice again.
and listen as you sing me to sleep.
I miss singing with you.
I miss your stories.
I miss your smile.
-Because, like you said, “when you smile, I smile.”
I miss being able to relax with you.
I miss our jokes.
Our sleepovers.
Our staring contests.
I even miss driving with you
And never knowing if I’ll survive.
You taught me to be spontaneous.
You taught me to believe in myself.
You inspired me to be myself.
You listened to my stories
You wanted me to vent to you
And you wanted to be there for me
You offered me a shoulder to cry on
and advice to follow
And you encouraged me all along…
You are my sunshine.
My only sunshine.
Would you come back, please?
My skies are grey.
Tell me another joke. Give me another listen. Tell me one more story.
Take the bad stuff away.
Sunday Nov 6 01:15am